“A babymama???!!”

“Yeah girl, let’s drink to that!”

THE FUCK?!!!

babymama |bābē,mah-muh| (noun)

A term used to define an unmarried young woman (but can be a woman of any age) who has had a child. As mentioned before in another definition, most of the time it is used for when it was simply a sexual relationship, compared to ex-wife or girlfriend. Usually this has a negative connotation, a lot of baby mamas are seen as desperate, gold digging, emotionally starved, shady women who had a baby out of spite or to keep a man. Sometimes they may act like this because of missed child support payments, unfulfilled promises by the father, or convenient sex by the father. Either or both may exist in any situation.

See, there are a lot of these “nouns” across the world, the word itself makes real women like myself feel like such a fucking adjective.

I don’t even say ‘my babydaddy’.

Don’t get it twisted, I don’t look at myself better than those that use it. If I’m talking to my ghetto co-worker then yeah, I want to hurry up and get my point across and say it, but how do I look having conversations with other people especially outside my race, which I normally do, and say, “You know, my babydaddy….”

Figure 1: My employer.

See he doesn’t even know what the hell that is…

The average lost black girl in the ghetto I am not.

But males on the other hands feel the need to always use ‘babymama’. Not even baby’s mother???!!! I remember at my babyshower, my brother was talking to me and my ex-boyfriend about not getting used to the terms. Of course, this nigga right here next to me didn’t understand. But I really didn’t get what my older brother meant until a couple of years ago when I was in the car with my daughter’s father and he introduced me to one of his former UPS co-workers as ‘my babymama’. It hit me as not only am I really a mother now from someone’s else view, but the shit sounds terrible from somebody’s mouth.

YOU + =  

Figure 2: You are still without a ring

Many young males believe having children makes them a man for some weird ass reason. A babymama is just his possession of proof of that ideal manhood. Hopefully one day, my younger brothers will understand it is not. You just happened to get someone pregnant and you added to the epidemic of black stereotypes.

• Babymamas depend on babydaddies too much
• They hold little to no value to the man’s life,
• The clubs are more important
• The grandmother semi-raises the child
• She sits and complains about a babydaddy
• Majority of the time, she still wants to be involved with a man and continues to latch herself on to him because of the child, even though he shows her he doesn’t want her.

Yes, you can say it, but a real woman knows her worth. She knows what’s more important. To honest, the mother of a child’s life takes a pause just to make sure that little one is okay.

My daughter’s dad hangs with some immature people. You think he’s not going to be immature? It rubs off people. However, when he speaks to me, that goofy shit is out the window. He talks to me like a woman, the mother of his child. Good. He sees that. And now I see I’m not the same naïve person I was in 2005.

I actually want two other children and I wish a nigga would…..well, he won’t, cause I’ll be their father’s wife and he’ll refer to me as something other than the connection to his kids.

July 30, 2009, 6:32pm